Bed time routine

Let's face it, I'm a unique woman. And no, not for the 100's of different reasons why I'm just "oh-so amazing" (ps: this is a joke people---note: sarcasm!) but simply for my bed time routine.

I once used to be like "most Americans", some nights I was good---I'd brush my teeth, put on my pj's, and slide happily under the covers. Other nights I drank too much, never even took my clothes off (let alone put on pj's), and crashed on top of my sheets. But NEVER, did my typical bedtime routine include bundling up, wearing a head lamp, or looking out for coyotes on my way to bed.

Things change though and in the era of "trailer trash Jenny"...I most certainly do all of the above & more! Let's take a closer look...

It's 9:52 pm:

• I've brushed my teeth & put in my bite guard
  
• Gone to the bathroom one last time
• Replaced my corporate clothes with sweat pants and a sweatshirt
• Checked my facebook one last time...oh wait, maybe two last times...
  
• Now I grab the essentials!
  

The Essentials: BITE & SUCK (it's the pink waterbottle), ipod, cell phone, and (wait for it now)...
a HEAD LAMP!

(Male announcer voice here) That's right ladies and gentleman! Jenny went to Italy, had the best time of her life, got fat, racked up a bunch of debt....and earned herself a HEAD LAMP! (insert: loud cheering crowd).

Haha. I get ahead of myself. Seriously though, I walk out to Terry with a head lamp on. It's pitch black and I live in a heavily wooded area complete with coyotes, deer, and vicious little raccoons (they are so loud in the brush that it makes me think they are really cougars)! So yes, it turns out that head lamps are very handy little tools! 1) Wearing a head lamp allows me to see a great distance ahead while I walk. 2) I can hold other things in my hand instead of a flashlight. 3) Well I don't have a third reason but really, who doesn't just love head lamp?

Me...in all my glory







Where were we now? Oh that's right, I've got my gear, now it's time to head out for bed...

To back track a little, let me talk about the boys. Right now, I let Kudos and Harley out in the mornings before work and then again when I get home. When it's time for me to head out to bed, I usually have to do a little work in the dark to coral up my two little ones. Now if they haven't eaten---it's usually a quick endeavor, especially for Harley (AKA: The fat one). Just call out food and that little kitten will come running from where ever he might be! Kudos can be a bit trickier though, it just all depends.



Captured--- Kudos! You can tell tonight wasn't too hard because you still see light from my parents house.





Found Kudos...but where is Harley?

"Harleyyyyyyy FOOOOODDDD" I call out as I scan the yard...

"FOOOOOOODDD''.....

Oh look! I spot him!

"Harley...don't run my little kitty kitty..."

Got HIM!

It's 10:04 by now, I've managed to gently toss both my boys inside of Terry and then I jump into her freezing cold interior.

First things first, I go to light my candles as quick as possible.

Problem: lighter is out---dang! No mood lighting for tonight, so I continue to wear the head lamp.

As I said, Terry is a cold girl at night!!! While I do have a small space heater, it takes a while for it to do any good. To get warm in a hurry, I plug in my ipod and start shaking that ghetto booty of mine! Ok, I could say this a little more literally for you: to get warm, I dance. I dance in sweatpants, in the dark, inside a trailer, wearing a headlamp, and listening to bad pop dance music. I dance on what used to be the bathmat in my old apartment because Terry's floors are cold on bare feet. I dance and the trailer rocks a little. I dance and wonder why the heck I'm scared of coyotes when they are probably terrified of this old trailer, stuck on the side of the woods, expelling bad tech music, and has a girl jumping around while checking herself out and waving her head side to side.

Wow, what a sight I am! Sometimes I wonder what the world would think if they could only see the real me....BUT I'll have you know----that I love it! I love dancing when there's no one around, I love being a goofy idiot, and I LOVE that my headlamp gives the trailer a certain disco light effect! :)

Eventually I tire of listening to "All the things she said" seven times in a row, remove the head lamp, and slide under my 5 layers of blankets.

Of course, as soon as I've laid down-- Kudos runs and jumps on the bed! He stares out the window and I know he see's something. My thoughts quickly race to the idea that there's an ax-murderer standing outside of Terry just waiting to attack.... (yes...I'm dramatic).

Before my brain completely hits panic mood, I force myself to remember that if it is an ax-murderer...I'm screwed. So I might as well just not worry about it and go to sleep...

Oh, but wait! Now Harley is interested too and has gotten up from cuddling with me....arg!

This happens every night though.... so "oh brother, I'm too tired to care" is what I'm usually thinking as I finally fall asleep. People ask me all the time how I sleep in my trailer, whether or not I'm comfortable. Honestly, I could be more comfortable--a lot more. I doubt though that I could truly be any happier, heading to bed is now an adventure...and boy, do I love a good adventure! :)

I don't think my bed time routine is "normal" anymore, but hey--- I was never normal to begin with!

Sweet dreams to you
Love: Jenny, Harley, Kudos & Terry!